Do i set my blow off valve to hard or soft?

You only hear the release when you RELEASE the gas. This is the turbo's extra air "venting" back. The reason you are not hearing any sound is you may have the 2 vacuum lines hooked up backwards. On source comes from the turbo itself and the other from a vacuum source, like the intake manifold. Also is the car under load when attempting this? If you are just sitting stil and revving te engine its really hard to get the BOV to release. The harder setting makes more of a higher pitch fsstew sound and the softer setting will be the psssshh sound. Try reversing the 2 vacuum lines. Every manufacturer is different and it will make the BOV not make any sound when reversed.